Take Heart...

“If only I was pretty…”
“I wish my dad was here to see me succeed…”
“I believe in God…”
“If only there was a cure for my brothers disease…”
“If only people liked me more…”
“If only I was beautiful, more people would like me…”
“I wish I would die…”

A few of the statements made by some of my high school students. This was a lesson that I prepared with the title of Who are You? The idea was to really get the students to look deeper within themselves and find out who they are as an individual. We asked them to describe themselves with one word, then finish the sentence “If only…” “I believe…” “I wish…” “From now on…” and these were some of the answers we got. Blew me away and brought me to tears. This wasn’t what I expected to hear. I Realize that the crap that we create for our lives is what these kids live in…not by choice.
I am humbled. Just purely humbled.
Pray for the students of Kylemore High school….they are broken.

“God our refuge, God our strength…God is with us, He has overcome!”
TAKE HEART!

There's always gonna be another mountain...

Yes, I just quoted Miley Cyrus (Hannah Montanna) but it is so fitting for this! Today, February 12, 2011, I, Shawna Shealy conquered a huge thing. I climbed a mountain today—and not just any mountain, Table Mountain in South Africa. (it's the LARGE mountain in the middle of the picture, with the flat top). I knew that doing this would be a challenge to me, but I knew that I had to do it, I knew that if I didn’t I would regret it and I knew that if I accomplished this, I would be changed and I knew this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. So after a lot of thinking and a lot of trying to talk myself out of it, myself and Dani woke up at 4:30 am to make our way to the giant of the day. I must say that on the way to the mountain, I was quite nervous. If you know me, you know that I have never really been “hiking” let alone hiked a mountain. Dani kept telling me “Shawna, you can do this! We got this…” if it was not for encouragement, I don’t think I would have done it! We get to the bottom of the mountain a little before 6am, while the sun has yet to even rise. We make our way to the start of the trail that we are going to hike and say a quick prayer and myself, Dani, Denzel (and some other new friends we made) started up this mountain. As we begin, I quickly realize that this is going to be a lot more challenging than I could have every imagined. After only a few minutes, I was struggling to breathe, my legs were burning, and I was already sweaty—and the sun wasn’t even out yet! As we continued to climb, we got about half way up and I was asking myself, “why did I do this?” “What was I thinking?” “Can I REALLY finish this?” There were a few times I almost gave up on this journey…I came so close to saying I was turning around and going back to the ground—where I belong. But there was a part of me that said NO! You CAN do this! You WILL do this! Myself and Dani both became each others personal coach. When I was down, she would say, let’s go we got this. When she was down, I would say, we are so close—we are strong—we got this! Of course, we ended up falling behind the group and taking our time so we wouldn’t pass out. We reached the half way point and knew that the finish line was not too far away…we had about another hour left at this point. The only way I was going to finish this hike was with the strength of God. We stopped a few times and just sat in silence and looked at the progress we had made and looked at the beautiful view that was all around us. This is what gave me hope and I knew that I could do this! We continued to hike up this mountain and we turn the corner to what seemed like the stairway to heaven. We climbed these so called “stairs” and ended up on the top of Table Mountain! We did it! We made it to the top! After so much struggling and thinking that I couldn’t do it, I did it! As we walked towards the look out areas, I was trying to prepare myself for what to expect when I could look out and see the scenery that was all around us. Let me just say, I was at a loss of words for a few minutes. It was absolutely beautiful. Words can’t describe it, pictures can’t capture it, nothing can express or explain what I was able to see—because I didn’t give up and I pushed through and made it! After getting water and some icee drinks to cool off, Dani and I sat and just looked, in awe, at what was around us! God’s work—all around us! After a while, it was time to take the trek back down the mountain. We were excited for this, but as we began this journey down, we realized it was going to be a struggle like the climb up—maybe even a little more challenging. This time, it was a bit mentally challenging. Just one wrong step, you could fall. Let’s just say, Shawna fell about 8 times—on her butt—and ripped the biggest hole in her shorts EVER (and still had to continue down the mountain with a large hole, giving a show to everyone!) Again, me and Dani had to encourage each other. I wanted to give up again.. a few times, just wanted to cry. But no, there was no time for crying…we had a goal to reach and we were going to reach it! By this point, the sun is blazing and it’s hot! I’m not sure if I have EVER sweated like I did today. Before we knew it, we were on the last little leg of our journey and we were almost to the bottom of the mountain. As we took the last step off the mountain and onto the pavement, I had only one word to describe the way that I felt. Proud. I did it. I set my mind to something and did it! Was it a struggle? More than you know! It was the most challenging thing I have ever done, both mentally and physically. After a little celebrating—we got in the car to come home and this was the time I began to think a lot. This mountain that I conquered today is a lot like life. We have things that we need to “conquer” or overcome and the only way we can do that is with the love, strength, power, and encouragement from God! Needless to say, climbing up and down this mountain today changed me, changed my heart, changed my mind….I learned a lot about myself today and can genuinely say, I am so proud! I will forever have this memory and I will forever be changed because of it! See, not only is God working through the projects I am working in or the people I am interacting with, but also he is working in ME through a mountain!
Besides all of this excitement—the projects are going so well and I’m learning so much through them as well! Be praying for strength and energy—we are all so tired after each day!

Love and miss you all!!

Psalm 27:1 The message
"Light, space, zest— that's God! So, with him on my side I'm fearless, afraid of no one and nothing.”

Your grace is enough...

So after the first full week of a very busy schedule, I find myself at peace...my heart is at peace. I have had so many cool God moments this week not only in the projects that I have been in, and in my house with the girls that i live with, but also in my very own heart. God is working in my in ways that I didn't think He would. My heart is completely broken for the people of SA and the people that I am working with. One of the projects that we do, New Life Center, is a place where women go during their pregnancy to have a safe, quiet, calm, Christ filled time. These women have also made the huge decision to go through with the pregnancy and give their child for adoption instead of choosing the abortion route. As soon as I walked into the New Life Center, I knew immediately, with out a doubt, I'm suppose to be there. I knew that if nothing else happens while I am here at YFC Cape Town, that I have accomplished what God has called me here to do. The feeling I felt is an indescribable one. My heart is with these women. At the moment, there are only 2 women here at the New Life Center, and both are due any time now (on of them, Janine, due Saturday!) We spent time with them, having girl talk, eating cookies, getting to know them, and then Dani and myself taught them how to make friendship bracelets. They loved it! Now, being pregnant, we all know pregnant women have weird cravings, so half way through the time, Janine asked Dani if she could make custard...I have never had that before--but of course Dani, being the servant that she is, got up and made us all custard. The women were so excited! After we finished our bracelets (and ate our custard) we all put on our friendship bracelets and then we shared with them a few verses Philippians 1: 3-6 (the message)

"Every time you cross my mind, I break out in exclamations of thanks to God. Each exclamation is a trigger to prayer. I find myself praying for you with a glad heart. I am so pleased that you have continued on in this with us, believing and proclaiming God's Message, from the day you heard it right up to the present. There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears."

I think i needed to hear that just as much as they did. Sometimes, I think I need to take what I say or share with other people and take it for myself and my heart. Anyway, after we shared, one of the women shared something so sweet and personal with us that I was moved to tears. She shared with us the profile of the parents she chose to adopt her baby. She was so excited and so happy and so willing to share with us a very special piece of her life. Because of one decision she made, this baby will have an amazing life--because she chose the road less travelled (mom, you know where i got that from ;)) I have had total confirmation of why I am here this week--It's amazing how God does that! I know, with all my heart, that when I leave this place, I will NEVER be the same.

I'm really focusing on listening and really hearing what He is saying to me. I feel it in my heart, I see it all around me. It's such an exciting time and scary time! I'm not sure what the "next step" is for me when I return, but I have a feeling that it will be something that I least expect and something that HE wants and not what I want.

Please be in prayer for clarity and guidance and that I will hear what I need to. He is moving and I can't wait to see what happens next! It's just a really cool feeling to know that you are right where you are suppose to be at the right time. Faith...wouldn't be here without it!

Miss you all so much!

so much love from Africa :)

Shawna