10

Family…. I would define family in many different ways. I have an amazing family back home in Florida. Not only a family of relatives, but a family of amazing friends. I can say that I have the best, biggest, most loving, most supportive family ever. It constantly blows me away at how much I am loved and how much each of you believe in me and support me. I know I say it a lot, but I truly wouldn’t have made it through this journey with out you. I am where I am today because of you and I am who I am today because of you. In 8 days, I get on a plane to come home to my family. I cannot express to you in words how excited I am to see each one of you, to give you all some Shawna hugs, and to tell you about my journey here in South Africa. It makes me all giddy inside!

But knowing that I have to leave this family here in South Africa is really starting to weigh on my heart. I never would have expected to come into this and get another family out of it. I have had the honor to walk alongside these 11 people in my house for these 3 months and I can honestly say, I am forever changed by them. I think that God wanted me to realize something about friendship, about relationships, and about family. All of us in this house all come from different countries, different backgrounds, we are different colors, but one thing that is the same is the love we all have. As I sat in my room the other night with my roommate Blue, literally laughing until we couldn’t breathe and there were tears running down our faces, I realized that I cannot take ANY relationship for granted. Life is too short to let the little things in life take priority over the relationships in my life….over my family.

It hit me that I am going to have to leave this family just like I left my family three months ago to come here. The same emotions are running through me as they were in December before I came here. I had to say goodbye to my Dani on Monday. The first of many goodbyes. And we all know me, of course I was quite weepy. Not only did we start this journey together, we learned together, grew together, conquered together, laughed together, cried together, and loved together. LIFE.IS.CHANGED.

Dani, Kadder, Isa, Blue, Erna, Kelsey, Catriona, Sarah, Vovo, and Trevor. You will carry a piece of my heart to all corners of the world. Thank you for your love. It has changed me. I now have a new, international family ☺

To my family back home. You are all amazing. My love for you is indescribable. Thank you for your love and for walking with me through this journey.

And then there were 10….for 8 more days!

Much love!

Writers Block

I have been sitting in front of my computer for a couple of hours now just trying to get my words together. Trying to get my brain to slow down enough to get my thoughts together to write something, and after a lot of thinking and distracting myself, I have come to the conclusion that there is only one thing that keeps coming to the forefront of my mind:

Two weeks. Two weeks is all the time I have left here in South Africa. On this journey.

So many emotions.
So many questions.
A new woman.
A changed life.
A changed heart.
New eyes to see this life with.
Transformed. Renewed.

This journey has been one that will never be forgotten. So many stories, so much to say, so many laughs, so many tears….when I can get my mind to settle down and let me write, you will get more! For now, this is all I got!

Be blessed.

Options....

We have so many different options in life. What do we want to wear each day. What do we want to eat. Where to we want to live. Where do we want to go to college. What job do we want to take. In my case, what color hair do I want for a few months. We are faced with “options” every day. My outlook on options changed drastically this past Thursday when I was able and honored to be able to participate with the Options ministry here in South Africa. Options is an amazing ministry that goes into the hospitals here in Cape Town and goes to the hospital wing where no one else really wants to or really wants to talk about. The abortion wing of the hospital. Now, don’t get me wrong, Options is not Pro-abortion by any means…let me explain what this ministry is all about. Options is part of YFC here in Cape Town and is a Christian organization, obviously. Options goes in and does counseling with women who have come in to have an abortion and try their best to talk them OUT of the abortion and give the women different OPTIONS on what to do with their pregnancy. A lot of the women that come through this place don’t even realize there are other options for them and they think that the easiest way to deal with their pregnancy is abortion. Most girls/women who come in are in their first trimester but there are a large number that come in that are in their second trimester. Good thing, this hospital does not perform an abortion if the woman is a day over 20 weeks (not that any abortion is the best, but at least there are boundaries.) So a typical day for options would be to come in, all of the counselors have a prayer together, and then the girls start showing up. The girls are herded (like cows) into a room where they are given information and then herded to another room where they wait—wait for the counselors. One by one the women go into a room where they are given a counseling session by one of our counselors—there are 3 certified women who do the counseling, and I was sitting in for this day. Depending on the circumstance, they are asked how old they are, if they are married, if they have a job, and the final question…do you know how pregnant you are. Many of the girls that I was in on were women who were over the 20 week mark and we told that they couldn’t get an abortion, even if they wanted to. The reaction was always the same…tears came, fear came over their face, silence filled the room. But what a beautiful thing when they were told there were other options for them—adoption or to keep the baby and it was amazing—every girl decided to keep their baby all because they were a day too late. ONE DAY!!! Tell me that’s not a God thing. The other group of girls are the first trimester girls who are below 19 weeks in their pregnancy. These girls come in with it already in their head that they will be getting an abortion. I only sat in on one of these counseling sessions, and it’s intense. These girls have their mind made up—but through talking with them, many of them end up changing their mind. Although not all of them have a change of heart and mind, it’s a beautiful thing to see at least 1 or 2 change their mind. Now….let me be completely honest with all of you….coming here, I never would have thought I would be working with women, especially in this way. My thing is youth ministry—or teaching high school, that’s where I’m comfortable. Oh man, I have been completely SHOVED out of my comfort zone and my heart is so broken for these women. I know that God has been working on my heart since I have been here, and I wasn’t exactly sure what He had planned, but as soon as I stepped in that hospital yesterday, I knew that I needed to be there. After seeing all of those women and after hearing their stories and being able to pray with them, my heart and life are forever changed. Now I’m not saying that I’m done with youth by any means—that’s my heart! But God has something for me with working with women…and I don’t think He is done yet! The next 4 weeks I give to Him and know that He is going to show me things that I least expect and that will continue to change my heart. He is up to something…I know with all my heart that He is going to continue to stretch me and push me into things I least expect! Man, what a cool feeling!

Not only do we need prayer for Kylemore High school still, please pray for the women who come through Karl Bremmer Hospital every week. Pray that they would all be just that 1 day too late to go through with their decision.
Pray for myself for strength, guidance, wisdom, peace, joy, humbleness and understanding. Pray for my health—nothing major, but been having some crazy tummy issues. Pray for our house, the volunteers, YFC Cape Town.

Right now as I write this, I have 34 days left here in South Africa. Pray that I would live IN this time and not THROUGH this time. He isn’t done with me….

Can’t wait to see all of your smiling faces and expect so many hugs!! So thankful for all of you! I’m not sure if thank you is enough to express my thanks. I.am.blessed!
So much love,
Shawna