The four-week itch...

They say when you do long(er) term mission trips, that the first 4 weeks are the easiest. You are excited and happy and learning new things and meeting new people. Things are great. They say the second four weeks you loose the “honeymoon” feeling and get rather annoyed, angry, lonely, sad, and question why you are here. I have officially ended my first 4 weeks here in South Africa, and I can say that so far, the second four weeks have been identified correctly. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not unhappy, but I find myself getting annoyed at little things and roommates, crying a little more often than usual, and a little restless. I know with all of my heart that this is where I am suppose to be and I have already seen God move in my life and in the lives of the other volunteers and the people we have had the chance to work with, but, if I’m honest with myself, and you all, I must tell you that I am struggling a little bit. I know WHY I am here and know that God has called me here, but I struggle with the feeling of uncertainty, of things not being clear, of things not being the way I think things should be. Which leads right back to another entry I wrote a few weeks ago—that I must not forget—this trip is not about me at all and I can’t seem to get that through my head. I get so wrapped up in myself and the stupid little things that don’t go my way, or running out of starbucks coffee, or not having privacy…We are called to not be conformed to this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds….man, I need to have a huge piece of humble pie and remember that!

Ok, so enough venting and complaining….so, we are officially done with training for the projects and are starting our individual projects this week that we will have for our duration here! I can’t tell you how excited I am! Here is what I will be doing: On Monday’s I will be working with Kangaroo moms. This is a project where women who have had premature babies are kept in the hospital (alone) and their babies are strapped to them until they are able to go home. These women have no one. All alone and no attention, so we will be going in and spending some good, quality girl time with them and sharing the love of Christ. Then, Monday afternoons, I get to be part of the SOS teen’s program. SOS is a village where kids/teens live because they are orphaned. Such a cool place and the kids just crave love an attention. So we go in and build relationships, hang out, and teach life skills and bible studies. Tuesdays I will be going to the New Life center. This is a so-called “safe house” for women who are pregnant, and have decided to give their baby for adoption instead of abortion. These women, yet again, are alone and some of their families don’t even know they are there. They stay here for the duration of the pregnancy and get to opportunity to choose their child’s adoptive parents. Our job is to, again, be there for them and remind them that no matter what God still loves them. Wednesdays we spend the day in Kylemore…this is a place in the mountains of SA and has a variety of projects there. My main focus will be working in the schools there—but there are other things such as a Creche (day care center) and then a soup kitchen. Thursdays (depending on the week) I will be working either at Belhar High School teaching life skills classes with some other volunteers or I will be working at a local hospital doing counseling for women who are pregnant (again, all alone) and deciding on if adoption is good for them. We pray with the women and just talk to them. They really don’t have anyone else to talk to about anything or to give them the proper guidance. Some of the stories that come from these women are horrible. Just a preview, a 17-year-old young girl was raped by 4 men…she is faced with a choice…one of adoption or one of abortion. Heavy stuff!! But to just know that I will be able to have a part in so many different people’s lives is so rewarding and gives me hope and peace in my times of struggling.

I realized today that I only have about 2 months left here in South Africa. In the long run, that is nothing! I’m running out of time and it’s time to get busy J

Keep the prayers coming, especially for strength, peace, guidance, courage, understanding, and knowledge. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for your love and prayers and support! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Blessings from South Africa,

Shawna

It's been a week...

This past week has flown by and it's hard to believe I have already been in my new home for a week! Things have been great--just getting settled in at the house. My little house is so cute and the girls in the house are absolutely amazing. I have another American friend, Danielle. A Scotish friend, Katrina. Two german friends, Kadder and Isabelle. A girl from England, Sarah. And a South African named Blue. It's amazing how easy it was to make this new home a "home" for the next 3 months! Of course I have my good days and my bad days, but nonetheless, doing really well. This past week, we just spent a lot of time getting to know each other and seeing the town--we went to the beach a few times, drank a lot of tea and coffee, made dinner(yea, i made dinner!) and slept! This coming week is going to be a busy one! Today was cleaning day at the house--always a good day! :) Starting tomorrow, things get busy! We start "touring" the projects to see what they are all about and to see what we feel our heart wants to commit to for our duration. We also get to have a tour of South African museums and different cultural places so we can know and understand the culture better! I am so excited about getting started and I know that God has a plan. I have already seen Him work in so many ways in my life already--I can only imagine what He will do for the rest of the time I am here. I ask you all to pray for me in many different ways--health, strength, peace, understanding, finances, EVERYTHING! I know that I serve the God of provision, but sometimes, it gets a little scary! I am trusting in Him and know that He will provide! John 3:30 "He must become greater, and I must become less." This is my motto for the rest of my stay here--this is not about ME, but about HIM!

I can't express enough how much I miss you all--it's crazy! Know that I love you all and would not be here or the woman i am today if it were not for the love and support you give me so selflessly!

Truly love you all!

-shawna

well...

The time has come, and the time has passed...and I have said my final goodbyes. I'm not sure why I was fooled and thought that this set of goodbyes would be easier, but boy was I so wrong. A few days ago, I had to say goodbye to what was my support group here, my family here, people who helped me through the first 2 weeks with the loves i had to leave in the states. AS the time drew closer, it began to set in...this is it, this is real life! There is no turning back now, I'm all in...and only by the grace of God. AS i sat there and watched a group of people, who I love dearly, walk away, knowing I couldn't hug them, chat with them whenever I wanted to, or just be with them, my heart literally hurt. This was the third time i had to say goodbye to people i love and it was just as tough as the first two times. So, here I am, in the Jo'burg airport, sobbing...I'm sure everyone thought i was a crazy white woman (which is partly correct!) I remembered something..I would not even be here if it weren't for every single one of you who have loved, encouraged, inspired, and supported me in this. I will never be able to thank you enough! I'm so thankful for where I am and where God has lead me. I am the person I am today because of every single one of you! Now, as tough as these first couple of weeks may be, I'm ready! Only by the strength of Jesus will I make it, so pray for peace! As my amazing Ben said to be as we said our goodbye to each other (which was messsssy!! :)) "Shawna, you got crap to do here, go do it! You were made for this!" The words I needed to hear, so thank you my love! I was made for this...let's do it! Vrede.