well...

The time has come, and the time has passed...and I have said my final goodbyes. I'm not sure why I was fooled and thought that this set of goodbyes would be easier, but boy was I so wrong. A few days ago, I had to say goodbye to what was my support group here, my family here, people who helped me through the first 2 weeks with the loves i had to leave in the states. AS the time drew closer, it began to set in...this is it, this is real life! There is no turning back now, I'm all in...and only by the grace of God. AS i sat there and watched a group of people, who I love dearly, walk away, knowing I couldn't hug them, chat with them whenever I wanted to, or just be with them, my heart literally hurt. This was the third time i had to say goodbye to people i love and it was just as tough as the first two times. So, here I am, in the Jo'burg airport, sobbing...I'm sure everyone thought i was a crazy white woman (which is partly correct!) I remembered something..I would not even be here if it weren't for every single one of you who have loved, encouraged, inspired, and supported me in this. I will never be able to thank you enough! I'm so thankful for where I am and where God has lead me. I am the person I am today because of every single one of you! Now, as tough as these first couple of weeks may be, I'm ready! Only by the strength of Jesus will I make it, so pray for peace! As my amazing Ben said to be as we said our goodbye to each other (which was messsssy!! :)) "Shawna, you got crap to do here, go do it! You were made for this!" The words I needed to hear, so thank you my love! I was made for this...let's do it! Vrede.